What's on Dutch TV?

New Year, New Look, New Feature: What's on Dutch TV?

Some people ask me about Dutch tv programming. I don't actually watch a whole lot of it because, well, it's in Dutch and I don't speak Dutch. Occasionally, I'll catch an undubbed, American re-run. Sometimes it's "CSI," sometimes it's "Roseanne" - Yikes! (Un?)luckily, I have BBC 1.

So, I thought I'd flip the channels and tell you exactly what's on Dutch tv right now:

NED 1- nature show
NED 2- news
NED 3- life-size puppets singing in Dutch to the tune of "Row row row your boat"
RTL 4- home shopping show featuring tools
RTL 5- text messages gameshow*
SBS 6- British movie from the 70s
RTL 7- financial news
VERJE- Japanese anime, dubbed
NET 5- another SMS game show*
TALNI- bad computer anime featuring Barbie, dubbed
TVWST- guy burning something
STADH- still ads
INFOT- Girls talking to each other while ice skating. I think this channel highlights things to do around town. I guess I can go ice skating.
VRT 1- "The Persuaders" - some 70s British show. This episode is titled: The Old, The New and The Deadly
KETNC- still ads
BBC 1 - soap opera, could be "Neighbors"
BBC 2- b&w war movie
DLD 1- an ad for a DIY show
DLD 2- ad for a show called "Pommery and Liechenshmauf" (I think)
EURON- old b&w movie
Discovery- a show about hover crafts
Nat Geo- Greenpeace ad showing penguins waddling around with an oil tanker in the background
Animal Planet- bird watching
Euro Sport- tennis
MTV Europe- American rednecks riding around on quad bikes
TMF- music video, blonde woman playing a piano, too much eyeshadow
The Box- music video - white boy rap, bikini-clad babes jiggling and playing bongos
CNN World- show about tsunami recovery
BBC World- news
Fashion TV- fashion show clips
TV 5 (France)- movie featuring a young Jean Reno
RAI I (Italy)- could be a dub of K-9 cop
TVE 1 (Spain)- news

So, you see it's not so different from American TV - there's just less of it.

* Aside from the naked phone sex ads at night, perhaps the weirdest thing I've seen on Dutch tv are these game shows where anyone can play by texting the show. What's weird is that they put the announcer in front of a blue screen so they can project wacky scenes behind them. Then they just stand there yapping and yapping about some word puzzle. When the announcer needs a break, they cut to tv-dating ads. They'll display your photo and bio while playing a recorded message of you talking about yourself. It's kinda sad when you think about it.

So, that's what's on Dutch tv - right now.