Happy O'Postraphe Day

B- and I have decided not to celebrate St. Patrick's Day. We've redubbed it O'Postraphe Day in celebration of our Irishness, as opposed to a lasting symbol of British oppression.

Confused?

B- turns to me this morning and says, "what did St. Patrick do anyway?"

Jen: "Ran the snakes out of Ireland. I dunno why we celebrate that though."

Cue Wikipedia with the scoop on St. Patrick. Seems that Patty wasn't even Irish. He was a Briton, and a missionary at a time when the Catholic Church regarded Celts as godless animals. So, Patty was at the front lines of quashing Irish heritage. And we love him why?

And the snakes? There were never any snakes in Ireland. Wikipedia suggests that the snakes were actually Druid symbols. Wiki goes on to speculate that Patrick was instrumental in introducing the concept of threes, so prevalent in Irish symbology, a three leaf shamrock if you will. Basically, Patrick was manipulating the existing belief system to be more compatible with the Catholic Church.

I didn't used to care about the historical problems between Ireland and Britain. My family has been in America for several generations now, and I'm a typical mut. Owing to my mom's Irish maiden name, however, I've always identified more closely with my Irish heritage.

A couple of years ago, Mom and I traveled to western Ireland on a pilgrimage of sorts. The West is relatively rural, providing a glimpse of traditional life. It's also the region most devastated by the famine that compelled so many to leave their home for America, including mine and B-'s Irish ancestors.

What struck me was the sheer beauty of the land. It's the Emerald Isle for a reason. Holy cow that is one green country. It's just so spectacular. And the sea is so blue. So blue. Everywhere you go is evidence of the rich and ancient culture that prevailed for centuries before the Romans came to muck it all up. The Irish are a people that love their country. The soil is fertile and families are close. There is no reason to leave.

It's not easy to piece together the circumstance of the famine. It's a very controversial topic with some likening the English behavior to genocide. Wikipedia's account is notably balanced, but the view within the hardest hit regions is that the neglect was deliberate. Keep in mind that at the time it was a widely held belief that the Irish were a subclass of humans, inferior to the English. The idea that Irish and English are different was only recently debunked by a DNA study of Irish, Scottish, Welsh and English people revealing that we are all from the same stock. The growing rift between Protestants and Catholics is also considered to be a contributing factor. Regardless of why, the British government had an obligation to feed its starving people and they didn't. The just didn't.

They forced my family to flee their beloved country, and that hit home as I stood atop the cliffs of the Dingle coast gazing at the treacherous sea. On the one hand you have an amazing land and a strong sense of place. On the other hand you have a dangerous passage to a country that doesn't really want you, where you are going to be treated like dogs. What a choice! What a crappy, crappy choice.

People sometimes snicker at Americans with Irish heritage who cling so strongly to a culture that isn't really theirs. For me, it's because in my heart I know that my ancestors didn't really want to leave their land, and that they sacrificed so much for me to be here at all. To hold them in memory is to honor their struggle.

So, what does this all have to do with me and B- rejecting St. Patrick? Patrick was British and among the first to treat our ancestors like so much crap, though he did it less obviously and bit more subversively. The only reason he's the patron saint of Ireland is because of the strength of the Catholic Church and good marketing. I'd even be ok with that, even though we're not Catholic, but for him playing a role in suppressing our ancient culture - the very thing we celebrate on his day.

Instead, we'll raise our glasses to the O'Postraphes in mine and B-s' family (even those that dropped the O' to avoid stigma in America), for their courage and sheer will to live. We remember.

Éirinn go Brách

Bend it Like L. Ron

This hit the wires yesterday, but I was too busy ranting about work to comment.

Can Beckham sell the U.S. on soccer?

Basically the story goes like this: David Beckham, one of the word's biggest soccer players, is losing his touch by European standards, and appears to be looking for a graceful exit from that stage. Even though Major League Soccer in the U.S. has managed to stay afloat for 11 years, despite the U.S. men's team performance two world cups ago, despite the fact that the U.S. women's team dominates, despite the fact that Brandy Chastain flashed the world, and despite the fact that Mia Hamm was properly hot and seemed to be everywhere for awhile, soccer struggles to gain mindshare in America. A lot of people think soccer is for pansies.

So, why would Beckham ditch his stardom for the land where soccer is for little boys and football is for men? I'm sure his $250 million salary is a big reason. I question the rationale of spending that kind of cash on one player in a league where many players make a very average, middle-American salary.

Here's what Beckham has to say about the move:

"Beckham said in a statement Thursday that the move had stemmed in part from his desire to help raise the profile of soccer in the United States.

'There are so many great sports in America,' he said. 'There are so many kids that play baseball, American football, basketball. But soccer is huge all around the world apart from America, so that's where I want to make a difference with the kids.'"

Why would a foreigner want to help raise the profile of soccer in the U.S.? I know we're the third world of soccer, but c'mon. This is lame and surely a statement his publicist concocted.

My money is on Tom Cruise and Scientology. Somewhere along the way, Becks and his wife Posh Spice befriended Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes even making it on their wedding guest list. I'm sure they've spent enough time with each other for Tom Cruise to convert both Becks and Posh to Scientologists. They may also need a U.S. visa, not sure how that works for famous people who just want to hang around Hollywood. He was conveniently recruited to play for the L.A. team.

It'll be interesting to see if he even has much celebrity status in the U.S. I venture to say that learned sports fans may know who he is, even those that hate soccer. A few more people have a vague idea who he is since the movie, "Bend it like Beckham," was a big success in the U.S, though few people will know what he looks like. However, I guarantee that folks like my dad have no clue who he is. Beckham may be super huge everywhere else in the world, but I bet he could freely walk around any Wal-Mart and the only thing anyone would notice is his moussed hair.

I do know one thing: he really must stop calling our football "American Football" promptly upon arrival.

Desperation Shopping

Christmas is a bit hit or miss with me. Some years, I rock and I make a list in November, and I get really into it. Other years, it sneaks up on me like moldy leftovers hiding in the back of the fridge. In spite of the fact that we went to Vienna a week ago, browsed several Christmas markets and could have bought presents for everyone we know, somehow we just didn't do it. We were too busy stealing our mulled wine mugs.

Now it's exactly one week until Christmas. Nothing we buy in Holland will make it to the U.S. or Australia in time, so I've been desperately scouring the internet for gifts. For those of you in the same boat, I offer up these choice finds:

For Mom:
Red Envelope
National Museum of Women in the Arts Shop

For Dad, Husband, Manly Types:
Leatherman Tool

For Coworkers:
Abusive Stamps
Despair 2007 Calendar
Staple Free Stapler
StealthSwitch Foot Pedal

For Travelers:
Luggage Tags with Attitude
Orikaso Flatworld Tableware

For Geeks:
9-volt Circuit Board Desk Lamp
Designer Gadget Charger
Cassette and Vinyl Ripper

For Our Furry Friends:
Pet Bunk

For Conservationists:
TerraPass: Car Emission Offsets
Kill-A-Watt Electricity Usage Monitor

P.S. I was able to switch to Blogger Beta today, but now the spellcheck doesn't work. So, pardon my bad spelling.